All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The beer is more important than you right now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
