wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
