just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize