Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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