He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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