Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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