one might say we're banned from that church
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
