everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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