Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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