But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
