my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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