If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize