Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
