Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
