The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
