Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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