what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
