There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
