so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
