and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
