ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So. Much. Porn.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
