I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
