Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
