Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize