Don't you send me to vm
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
