Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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