Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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