u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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