I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
tell me about the fingering
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