Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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