I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
