We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
