I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize