What did we do last night that was yellow?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
