i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
