You really coming over, don't trick.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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