Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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