Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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