Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
