Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize