Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I intend to get homeless drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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