i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
