I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
