just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
