There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
