As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
