I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dicks are not precious.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.