Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee