I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
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My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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