You really coming over, don't trick.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
