just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize