No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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