the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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