It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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