i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
