i barfeds in our rink
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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