i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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